For what I have said and done has been nothing but useless and unnecessary things over and over again. It has its silver lining although I am still not capable to locate. Let’s just say that chances has been thrown over someone who always take and throw.
I don’t know what’s worse, being completely unable to actually feel something or being hurt because of what you feel. Everything is too confusing and not in a right place or at the right time. And I am nowhere closer to be relieved and breathe. Everything is taking my breathe away, really, not in a good way. The worst duet ever between my mind and my heart has sung too long. I am just tired of being overwhelmed all the time. It seems like I’m at ease while I actually sinking, deeper and deeper.
Have you ever had someone told you that you missed pieces of your puzzled life? Not one or two, but several pieces that hasn’t been found or had gone. That you somehow misplaced them or you took the wrong ones. It feels like your soul’s being undressed by words. It feels like that someone was just stating the obvious you’ve been trying to ignore and deny. It reached your emptiness and make it hurts. Again.
All this rambling, over a guy I adore. Over someone that makes me feel something like this again. Over someone I thought worth the miles. Over someone I actually thought, “Why the hell not?”. Over someone I might be done within a couple weeks. Or not.