I’ve never felt like this before. When missing someone feels like you’re losing half of your soul. He’s been everything to me since he was born. My reason to carry on, to stay strong, to love with no expectations. I miss him badly. I miss him with every single cell in my body. I miss him, I cried myself out in my sleep.
I’ve been a very very bad mother. And he’s been nothing but understanding. I’m a reckless and careless mother. I’m nothing but bad for him. To be anywhere near him, will kill him bit by bit. Though since day one we’ve separated, all I want has been nothing but to hold him tight, so tight, and tell him that I’m sorry. For being so bad on doing this parenting. For being not enough to be both mommy and daddy for him.
I don’t even know whether he asked about me or not. Whether he noticed that I’m leaving. Whether he miss me or not. But I miss him too badly, I cried myself every single day and night.