and I wonder. maybe the reason I keep failing on every single relationship I had (despite the fact I always chose the so-not-right-guys) is that I’m too afraid to open myself up and be in love.
and I might be not good enough for guys whose been so good to me. I might be not the one they are looking for. my flaws broke me.
I will ended up got hurt. because once I fall, I fall deep. once I love, I love hard. I will be dedicating myself, my time, my strength, my life to that one person who’s successfully stole my heart. once I tear apart, I’m afraid I will never get back on my feet again.
this is my devil’s circle. this is my insecurities that keeps me staying off sanity. this is my weakness. this is who I am now. and I want to get better.