sinking boat

sinking boat

on the day that you walked away

i could hear your heart breaking

i could feel your tears streaming down

i can not blame you

for not choosing to stay

and who am i to stop you?

who am i to stand on your way?


i am too afraid

full of shame

i know there’s nothing i can do no more

you made your bed for both of us

and so be it


i will never find any man like you

willing to see beneath my flaws and mistakes

and loving me as it is


with you leaving

you wiped it clean on me

the love story we had

feels like made for drama

with you leaving

you left me empty

since you took everything

and left me with nothing


i am the sinking boat on the ocean

and you’re my lighthouse

whose just turn off the light

i can not find my way home anymore

it’s all darkness

and i am slowly drowning


see, you’re my only map

to the hunt of happiness

how could i go when i am blinded?

will you give me just one more chance

cause there’s more in me

only for you



“…Cause, darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream..”

I’m pretty much the girl in that Taylor Swift song. The difference is, am so not a blank space. I have writings all over my body. I have things you wanna see and too many things you really don’t wanna know, let alone see. I could play you like a puppet on a string. Oh, boy, you know nothing ’bout it. Though I could be the one whose played. It all depends on the mood and the heart.

I am a jerk, a liar and a cheater. I could do you and two other people after that all in the same day, cause I want to. I mess with you, because I could care less about you. Sometimes, I will not be using my logic nor my heart to do stuff that surely will hurt you.

I can make you fall all over me, be the person you wanted me to be, sell you the girl you have been waiting for. And just like that, I will crush you down so hard and bad, you would wish you had never met me. I am that manipulative bitch who will stole your heart and mind, and hurt you just in a blink of an eye.

I am not capable of committing myself to a long-term love relationship. I had stop believe in people. I pushed people away, because I am not capable to get close with any of them. You and I could have fun at this moment, but a minute after, you might hate me so much.

I seek enemies, not friends. I say things that will hurt you, I do stuff that will make you hate me.

Don’t love me. Don’t fall for me. Don’t even think to know me better. I will bleed you till your last drop of blood. I will make you suffer till you’re out of breath. I will hunt you down and eat your soul whilst you feel your chest hurts.

Run, baby, run. Run for your life before I make you my next victim.